up or down

時間不停移動，而我只想停留....
我那些26歲的朋友，而今安在哉？

Disposability

擁抱的時候
記得你的味道
儘管那只是某種劣質沐浴乳的餘香
恰似廉價的性或用完必須丟棄的保險套
僅是另一具可替代的身體
沒有名字、沒有歷史、沒有累積
只有暫時的溫暖
以及事後，自己對自己的唾棄。

2008.03.05 新竹

樂生

sorry about the issue...
Really hope that I can do something for those who live in Lo-Sheng. Our government is too violent to Lo-Sheng and more and more people in the society are utilitarian. We are getting sick and lack of introspection. The world won't get better because of democarcy or prosperity, but it goes down by human selfishness.

2007.04.06

Happy B-day!

"...three, two, one!"
According to the Vancouver time, now I am 25 years old.
Sometimes I have the problem of identification of being a boy or a man.
That's why I usually addresss myself as a 1/2 man.
You know what! I really want to be Peter Pan.
Being an adult is really boring, meeting people sucks and having life sucks.
Terriblely I cannot turn them down.
I obviously know the world of adults and what games they play.
But you know I don't really want to be all involved with them.
Life sucks enough, and I gotta do something to change it.
Why I have to accept my life to go like this way?
It doesn't mean that I am not responsible for myself.
On the contrary, I really live and experience it and walk my way.
Should you do things right or do the right tings?
It's really tough to choose in my this age.
I hope I have a strong mind, like Nietzsche, Yukio Mishima or Steven Jobs.
Life shouldn't suck, but meanings are given and achieved.

A Balloon Exhausted

生活像一顆洩了氣的皮球
i am an artist, but you are killing me little by little.
r u satisfied!? f*** u~~~~~~~~~~
the bourgeois, capitalism...f*** u~~
a pool of dead water.
play money, play games...
what u have what u have????????
i hate to be the part of ur system.
i say NO. NO! can't u see? f*** u~~
but how come 我打不過你.....
你吞了我吧，連根骨頭都不要剩。
i say NO. i refuse to kneel down.
just kill me.
i own my sh*t dignity; u have ur sh*t money.
satisfied?

2006-06 淡水

Moment

We share this moment of comprehension of music, shh....

No words should be spilt, but kept.

I am reading you by your eyes and the vibration of your heart.

Am I permitted to enter the labyrinth?

Candle is flickering and wine in the glass is dimpling.

You are swinging and image of you like the broken lazurite.

I guess I can't hold you too tight, but you please keep me on your mind.

Then I'm fine though the moment fades, it was truly felt.

2006-09-26 Van

搬家

搬家的時候，該帶走哪些書？
詩集、散文或小說......。
寂寞的時候，是該讀一首適合當時心情的詩。
寂寞的時候是該打開窗戶。
寂寞的時候不該哭泣。
或許該看齣連續劇，餵食寂寞以寂寞。
還不習慣嗎？
一隻奔跑於草原的孤獨的獸
至少還有遠方，還有自由。
如果連奔跑都被剝奪......
那麼我將掉下藍色的眼淚。
搬家的時候，我想說謝謝。
帶不走的也許掛念、也許不掛念
也許......只能想念。

2006-04-16 沙鹿

--
在某種程度上，是沒有人能貼近我心靈的狀態。像我詩中的自擬的，一隻奔跑於草原的獸，沒有人跟得上或者是願意跟上牠的步伐，能陪伴牠的只有牠的影子。是的，我有好多話要說；但在某種程度上，我選擇沉默，我拒絕跟相當多的人溝通，我覺得疲累，如果我費盡九牛二虎之力只是為了讓你了解我，那麼我寧可拒絕讓你了解；你有眼睛、你有鼻子、你有耳朵、你有一顆心，你是可以了解我的。不是我要拒絕你，而是你先拒絕了我。

在思想上，我有我極緻/極至的地方，這帶給我生命上莫大的恐懼與疑惑。我明白自己與世界走的步調並不相同，在生存與信念中抉擇，需要一些犧牲與妥協，我只希望我不要傷了別人，我只希望我不要有一天厭惡自己。三十歲的我，是怎樣的我？四十、五十、六十......？這是個一直追著我不放的問題。